Last week I celebrated my 32nd birthday. My birthday also happens to be the 3rd anniversary of buying the deli. Last year I reflected honestly about how I was not exactly where I wanted to be. Call it the maturity of growing older, but I feel much different this year, and really not a whole lot has changed my life situation, except I am actually working more, and have less flexibility than I had last summer.
The weeks leading up to my birhtday were filled with ‘usual’ emotional stress. I had a little pity-party for one, and spent the majority of my time focusing on all the things that aren’t going how I want in my life. After exhausting one of these pity parties on the phone with a friend, she brought my attention to the fact that I was only focusing on what was not working in my life. And she was right. We have all heard 1000 times that you attract what you focus on, so no wonder the negative was amplfied for me. It is such a simple concept, but it really is powerful.
It took me a few days to fully digest, and it is taking even longer to implement in my life, but I am really trying to focus on what is going well, and moreover what I want to create in the next year of my life. This simple practice has allowed me to better control my stress and be much more present in my life, rather than just wanting life to be different. Along this vein I am working on not blaming those around me for my stress or perceived lack in any situation. As anyone who has ever worked, lived and played with their spouse knows, it is easy to allow those people to become your punching bag. It takes a lot of self control to slow down, and communicate without blame or anger. It is not easy to recognize your own faults and admit them, but the act of doing so can transform your relationships so quickly it is amazing.
By the time my birthday rolled around, I felt at ease. We drove to Boston to have dinner with friends and see Hall & Oats. We dined, drank, and danced. It was magic.
The most remarkable thing about growing older is really getting out of your own way. Once you get over the fact that you have more wrinkles, and your numbers are getting bigger, you can enjoy that every year you are learning and growing. I feel like I am a better person than I was a year ago, and that is all one could hope for.
