The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. A great adventure will always sweep you off your feet into the momentous unknown. Everything is new, mysterious and magical, yet not without challenges. I have learned a great deal about myself, and have been forced to trust in ways I never imagined.
Today I turn 35. I don’t have a home, a steady job, child, or relationship. These facts are equally liberating and terrifying. I am free and yet my life doesn’t resemble the life I spent the last 10 years working towards.
A year ago today, my life was in shambles. It fell apart from the seams, leaving me broken, and in such deep pain it blinded me to the world at large. A year is a small amount of time, yet it can bring profound change. I have grown a great deal in the last year, but I haven’t really put the pieces back together as I had hoped.
As I embark on this next year of my life, I don’t really have my shit together in any sort of traditional sense.
I have however, come to know myself in an entirely new way. This intimacy and knowledge was gained by going in to the darkest parts of myself. I have found comfort and confidence on my own two feet and in my aging skin. I wish I had known this freedom when I was a much younger soul, but all good things come in time.
At 35, I have risked security, for a dream. I question myself and decisions on a daily basis. But what will I regret more on my death bed, a little more debt or not taking the risk to experience. Would I have always wondered, what if?
Following your dreams is not always easy, especially when your dreams are audacious and fit outside the box. There is no road map, and people will question you every step of the way. My wish for this new year is to continue to trust. To not be bogged down by the fears of the mind and emotions of the heart. But to continue, not just for myself, but for anyone who may feel like they are not exactly where they expected to be, or for anyone, who has had a dream for a long time, but was too afraid to pursue it. I say, go for it. Whatever it is. Big or small. You will never regret the things you did, but might regret the dream you put on the shelf to collect dust.
This dream has been 10 years in the making, and it is still a work in progress. I’m not entirely sure will work out. Do you have a dream that you have yet to chase? I’d love to hear about your dream. Please leave a comment, so I can support you in living a life with no regrets.
